America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle
mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it’s going to be
two long, lonely years up there, each may bring any form of
entertainment weighing 150 pounds or less. The American approaches
the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb. wife. They approve.

The Japanese astronaut says, “I’ve always wanted to learn
Latin. I want 100 lbs. of textbooks.” The NASA board approves. The
Russian astronaut thinks for a second and says, “Two years… all
right, I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made.” Again,
NASA okays it.

Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered
outside to welcome back the astronauts. Well, it’s obvious what the
American’s been up to, he and his wife are each holding an infant.
The crowd cheers. The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10
minute speech in absolutely perfect Latin. The crowd doesn’t
understand a word of it, but they’re impressed and they cheer again.
The Russian astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his
knuckles turn white, glares at the first row and screams: “Anybody got
a match?”