My sister-in-law showed up with my nephews, very upset, and asked me not to tell my brother she’s here.
She won’t say what happened and explicitly asked if we could wait until the kids are in bed. They are 5 and 3, but they are upset and anxious and apparently got dragged from bed to come here, so I popped in Toy Story and found some ice cream.
My brother called and I hit ignore. We aren’t really close, but we grew up through hell together and I’d hate to alienate or help deprive him of his kids because they had a fight or whatever. He’s really the only family I have and I’d like to be closer.
But she looked spooked. I barely know her and she barely looked at me and her lips were busted. I was sure he’d never do anything to her like that (if only because our dad did and he knows how wrong that is), but she seemed pretty desperate.
I ended up meeting with my brother the next day, when I called him back that morning I suggested we meet for lunch since it seemed like he had a lot to talk about and we both had work. He reeked of alcohol when he showed up and confessed he hadn’t showered or gone to work that day. That he had no idea where his family was and it was driving him insane.
I asked what happened before she left. He said they got in an argument over Chase not getting in bed, that she never lets him discipline the kids, and that he lost his temper. They screamed some and he went off to cool his temper and she was gone.
I then asked if he hit her and (I felt a little underhanded using this tactic) said that I was his brother and would help him in anyway I could and i needed to know because she could be filing charges. And he said “not hard” and that he had hit her harder and she never had but “he’s not proud”. That he didn’t mean to that she just makes him really angry and doesn’t know to just back off and give him space when he’s like that.
I told him he can’t just hit his wife. And that he needs to quit drinking. He said he’ll cut back but that it’s the only thing that helps him unwind and enjoy life. I reminded him he has two great boys who are a lot of fun (to be honest, one of the good things that has come out of this mess is I’m really enjoying getting to know them better). I said him being in AAA might convince his wife to come back and he promised to look into.
I took pics of her bruises when i got home and mentioned that I thought he was really upset about everything and would be looking into AAA.
Tonight she texted him this, without my knowledge. “I just want to let you know that Alex and Chase miss and love you. We are still safe at my friend’s. I hope you are really looking into AAA.”
He realized from her reference that she was here and busted in my place a few hours ago, drunk and furious, trying to yank her and the youngest who was in her arms out and ordering the oldest to follow. I obviously wasn’t letting him load up his battered wife and crying son into the car to drive drunkenly home.
We ended up fighting because he didn’t take to kindly to my interference. I instructed his wife to call the cops, she didn’t, but my oldest nephew did (I don’t know whether to feel proud that he did or sad that he had to).
They came and put him in jail. I showed the photos to the cops. And it was a whole mess. I’m simply exhausted from it.
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