Run The Dishwasher Twice

I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

Rude Parrot Learns A Lesson

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.