Anika Markle A user on an online forum asked:
My ex and I were together for seven years, and we got engaged two years ago. Around that time, we both took out life insurance policies, listing each other as beneficiaries. It made sense at the time coz we were planning a future together.
Then, six months before the wedding, he cheated on me. I was devastated, but I forgave him because I didn’t want to throw away seven years of my life. I thought we could move past it. But two months before the wedding, he blindsided me, he left me for the same woman he had cheated with.
AdvertisementI was completely heartbroken. I begged him to reconsider, but he told me he had moved on and that I should too. It took me a long time to heal, but I eventually accepted that he had made his choice. Over time, I worked on rebuilding my life.
That was a year ago. I updated my own life insurance policy, assuming he would do the same. Then last week, I got the unexpected news that he had passed away suddenly. It was shocking, but what surprised me even more was getting a call from his sister. Apparently, he never changed his beneficiary, which means I am set to receive a $100,000 payout.
Now his girlfriend—the woman he left me for has reached out, asking me to give her the money. She’s pregnant with his child and currently unemployed. She says the money should go to her and the baby because I am “just his ex.”
I understand that this is a difficult situation, and I have sympathy for her child. But at the end of the day, this was his responsibility. He had an entire year to update his policy, and he didn’t. I wasn’t expecting this money, but legally, it is mine. I didn’t take anything from anyone, it was his choice to leave things as they were.
AdvertisementI don’t think I should be obligated to give it up, especially considering how he treated me. This isn’t about revenge or pettiness. It’s simply about the fact that I was the named beneficiary, and I see no reason why I should be the one to fix a mistake that he made.
That being said, I don’t want to be heartless. I’m considering setting aside a small amount for the baby because none of this is the child’s fault. But at the same time, I don’t think I should feel guilty for keeping what was legally left to me.
Our Verdict: You Are Not the In the Wrong.
You are the legal and intended beneficiary of the life insurance policy, and your ex had every opportunity to update it—but he did not. That responsibility was his alone, and the consequences of his inaction are not yours to bear.
Your approach to this situation is measured and rational. This is not about revenge, nor is it about guilt. The reality is that you did nothing to take this money from anyone—it was left to you as per his decision, whether intentional or through negligence. You are under no obligation to redirect it to his girlfriend, and she has no rightful claim to demand it from you. While it is unfortunate that she is pregnant and unemployed, that burden should have been accounted for by him, not you.
If you choose, out of generosity, to set aside a portion for the child, that would be an admirable gesture—but only on your terms and without external pressure or expectation.
At the end of the day, you owe nothing to his girlfriend. She, like your ex, made choices that led to this moment. This money is yours. Use it to continue moving forward, and do not allow guilt or manipulation to dictate your decision.
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